BETTER PROBLEMS

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and then thinking that having problems is a problem.” — Theodore Isaac Rubin

We’ve all got problems, plenty of them. Personal stuff, shared stuff, global stuff… Significant stuff, piddling stuff… Small problems that when snowballed together sure seem friggin’ big…

Most of us have spent most of our lives practicing our problem-solving. Each of us has developed strategies to maximize pleasure and minimize discomfort We’ve gotten pretty good at spotting potential problems in advance, so we know to always be on the lookout. We’ve trained ourselves to look for both what’s wrong and what might go wrong, to figure that mess out, and then do our darnedest to fix it. When we can’t fix things, it’s terribly frustrating because that can feel like we’ve failed at the whole point of life — which is to streamline our experience by eliminating every bump in our path.

But I think Rubin is correct — problems aren’t the problem.

This is not to make light of tragedy, grief, hardship, and truly insufferable situations. I’m talking more about the scores of annoyances, relational frictions, meaningful challenges, and petty difficulties that we face every day:

I really don’t think happiness and contentment has much to do with eliminating these.

Recently, I was introduced to the concept of “better problems.” It’s the idea that we can’t rid ourselves of problems entirely — and nor does it really behoove us to try — but we certainly can learn to take on much better ones.

We can give our hearts and minds to problems worthy of us. We can devote ourselves to problems worthy of our commitment, our time and energy, our attention and creativity. We can choose our problems, and maybe even be glad for many of them.

Environmental activist Julia Butterfly Hill said, “We live in a world full of problems and we are the solutions to those problems.”

As we find ourselves the solution to whatever problems we face — and I believe we can — then perhaps a smart way to grow, strengthen, and heal ourselves is by courting better problems. Problems on purpose.

I can’t wait to be with you this Sunday, January 4. With the divine Patty Stephens. Happy new year, my friends! XO, Drew

©2026 Drew Groves